Another Stupid Criminal Story

It is now time for one of my favorite semi-recurring columns, “Stupid Criminal Stories”. Where I detail some of the most boneheaded antics that any criminal has ever done. And believe me, there are some real winners. It is one thing to commit a crime, but to bungle it up to such a degree where you get laughed at for your utter stupidity, that is just something to behold.

Perhaps worse of all, is when you commit what is potentially the perfect crime and then you bungle it up by doing something stupid. Or completely arrogant thinking that you would not in fact got caught. Whatever way you slice it, it is still going to make quite the fascinating tale to tell.

I just heard this one on the radio and I have to share it, because it is both hilarious and utterly pathetic at the same time. There is a woman who was at the O’Hara Airport in Chicago and she had her computer bag, containing her laptop swiped. This would obviously be a distressing situation for most, for both the cost and if the laptop contained incriminating personal information. It appeared that there was no sign of the thieves They have gotten away with the laptop, they have achieved the absolute perfect crime.

So now, here’s a little pop quiz for aspiring felons out there. If you had a stolen laptop, would you…

A) Keep the nice laptop to use for your own purposes, whether nefarious or otherwise.

B) Sell the laptop on the black market, in a way where it could not be traced back to you in any way whatsoever. You get the cash and all is good.

C) You put the laptop on Craigslist for sale, where anyone in the world can see it. Including the woman that you stole it from. Where it can be easily traced back to you and you can pay for your crimes.

If you answered C) then you would be among the dumbest people in the world. Interesting enough a quick Google search indicates that they were not the first dunderhead criminals to pull this, as back as 2010 some guy bought back the computer that was stolen after it was put on Craigslist.

I think that Dexter can sum this up better than anything I can say.

Enough said. Some people can pull of a crime, but they seem to not be able to pull it off without botching it at the end.