Ten Things to Say to Your Dead Computer

Is your computer fried?  Has it seen its last moments of life?  Here are ten things to say to your dead computer:

1.   You are a #@$ delete, and a $%# delete, and what’s more you are a #%$ delete.

2.   I can’t stand your blank expression.  Why aren’t you talking to me?

3.   You can be easily replaced.  Actually, it looks like you’ll have to be easily replaced.

4.   Why did you have to die?  I was just getting to feel comfortable with you.  Oh I see, you thought that I was having an affair with a laptop.  It simply wasn’t true!

5.   I didn’t mean to call you a piece of trash.  I was just saying that there was too much trash and clutter.  Please come back to me.

6.   I tried to get a doctor for you but it was true late.  Now your virus has become terminal.  Looks like you are headed for the big Computer Recycling Bin in the sky.

7.   You took away my files, you took away my memories, you took away my programs.  Why did you have to be so mean to me?

8.   Hey Rover, it looks like I have a new chew toy.  Go ahead and have a good time.

9.   I’m staring at a blank screen.  I’m staring at a stupid blank screen.  I must be going crazy.  Wait a minute, I think I’m seeing something.  No, I’m wrong.  I’m back to staring at a blank screen. Sigh!

10.  I admit that I have been careless with you.  I did not install virus protections.  I did not get rid of spam and trash.  I let popups go wild.  I never cleaned you.  I let your keys get caked with food particles.  I admit all that.  But did you have to take my irresponsibility out on me?  As for your final message, “Make my day.”  I am not amused.  So long you unfaithful piece of plastic and metal.  I’m off to see the Wizard.  The wonderful Wizard of Netbook.